I think I'm going to change my URL for this blog

That way I can reveal more about my crazy life and the people in it. I'd like to tell you some interesting anecdotes about what's been going on with me lately and why I haven't updated much at all in the past few weeks. I don't feel comfortable doing that at this point because some things involved in these stories some people will not understand and might get a certain perception of me that I'd rather not have to deal with from now til forever because I made this blog public to my Facebook friends. Anyway, more on all this later, most likely. I hate to leave you with a cryptic blog entry and leave you in suspense. You know, all 3 of you that read this.

My computer is an old, used up piece of shit

I feel bad dissing my MacBook since Steve Jobs just died. But I'm goig to anyway because a lot of it is my fault. I've lived in some unsavory places and had a lot of drunken, drugged up nights in my past and my laptop sort of reflects that. It's like 4 years old which is really too old anyway. The only reason I mention any of this is I'm basically hoping someone with a fetish for large feet will read this and want to exchange pictures of my feet for an iPad or tablet of kind. I also don't have a problem with exploiting my husbands feet for cash and prizes but his are even funkier and hairier than mine so it might be harder to find the right audience for that. I realize this is a sorry ass come-back after weeks of not blogging but this is more of an anti-comeback. I'm just letting you know that the laptops in this house are in a sorry state and nearly unusable and it's annoying to type all this shit out on my phone. I will at least try to blog short entries more often until I can get a tablet or new laptop.

DEAR EVERYONE ON FLIGHT 607 OUT OF DALLAS, TX LAST NIGHT

Just want to say a big SUCK IT to pretty much everyone in the first 40 rows. As I walked down the aisle, you all avoided my "can i please sit here" gaze or looked at me like you would rather sit with someone with leprosy than someone with a baby. IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, my son giggled and gabbed the whole way and was A TOTAL FUCKING PEACH. So you missed out. :P nah nah nah

Also, to the parents of that baby that actually did cry the entire flight: I feel for you, I know there's not much you could do, he was just uncomfortable. It must suck to have a baby that is not 100% pure awesome. Sorry.


Love,
Me

Yeah, basically EXACTLY this.

Every day I learn new things. And I usually wish I didn't.

My husband and I just learned a fun new word from the folks at Cracked.com
Are you ready? Chucklefucking. As in "Hold on just one chucklefucking second!" or "That's half the temperature of the chucklefucking sun!"

On an unrelated note, have you ever gone to that site that shows you a map of where all the child molesters in your neighborhood live? Well, we just watched a news doc on OWN about sex offenders and you might be surprised to learn that many of them opt to congregate and live in the large groups in the woods. Like a pack of dangerous wild animals. Does a rapist shit in the woods? Apparently, yes. That sounds great, right? Sounds like they are far away from your children! Yay! Just stay away from wooded areas, kids, and you'll be fine! Except NO, because if you think about it, it's pretty hard to keep tabs on someone who's mailing address is Purple Tent Left of Some Pine Trees, THE CHUCKLEFUCKING WOODS. So yeah maybe they sleep in the woods but maybe they eat lunch at Chuckie Cheese's every day. No one is sure.

Dear Diary, today my fondest childhood wish came true...

SOMEONE HAS FOUND A WAY TO MAKE SOME CRAZY DIY MOONSHINE VERSION OF HI-C ECTO COOLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! 

thank you to thedailywh.at for bringing this to my attention, and to comicsalliance.com for apparently making a really retarded but FUCK YEAH INFORMATIVE video on how to re-create what I think we can all agree was the best drink ever made that doesn't involve vodka.

WELL GEE, DEAR...

THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE ARSENIC I PUT IN IT :)
(psst, this is a link, click it! ^^^)